White celestial night we ran around
Cutting the curbs
Scratching the bugs in our ears
So we could hear the voices miles behind
A pitch different and we streaked back
To where they stood under the stars
Throwing down the beers and running hands
Through our hairs standing on end
Out across black fields, endless, I loved this moment more than anymore
Until you called my name and again fell in love with that moment all the same
by marianna hagler
yeah sometimes i do check your facebook profile
i sort of miss you so what
if you don’t want me looking at you
why did you set everything on your profile
to “public” huh yeah that’s what i thought
i bet you look at mine too
or you would—
but mine’s set to “friends only”
and some of it is even “only me”
i am a private person
(you are playing sid meier’s
civilization v right now and
i am sad eating
what we have built on
has swallowed us up;
the fig tree decayed
and the deck bent past breaking,
the bushes now grown
past their old overgrowth,
marble saints buried
and glazed in red clay
the ground that predates us
returns to its origin,
to unconscious growth
to a vast cycle’s end;
payment for some great ancient sin
by Jared McSwain
i am alive and you are alive and the sun just broke the horizon
and the wind is whipping and the heat is sweltering
and somewhere President Obama is standing naked in the shower
or outside on the designated smoking area patio of the White House with a Cowboy Killer so lets go do something while we are ecstatically breathing
reblogging some of my favorite old stuff today so #DealWithIt
my head is a vapor:
email me an exhaustive list
of Unforgivable Things I’ve Said
(including “i will be happier when you are gone”
and every time i’ve bragged about
my kindergarten reading level –
of a respectable percentile,
i will relegate it to “trash” –
“delete forever” –
a false and otherworldly sense of absolution
(wash away my iniquity,
cleanse me of my sin.)
the workman is nailing the shingles above my window
as i read Zizek articles on the dangers of austerity
& the inevitable crisis of Western democracy
this is the summer of bourgie guilt
(bang) the promises of the welfare (bang) state
have yielded to the (bang) brutality of austerity (bang)
while the (bang) mainstream left tacitly validates
the capitalist (bang) system (bang) at large
there’s no doubt about it; i’m a very special boy
even the days when i seem shiftless
are spent Creating Content
if there is any problem,
it is that I am too much in the world;
i wallow through the afternoons, head
crowded with words i half-understand
but not tonight;
now i am a self-destructive dynamo
from a night far hipper than this one
i am MC Ride on the balcony of Chateau Marmont
i’m here to tear shit up and go home crying
This guy at the doctor’s office with the chain wallet and the Ray-Ban eyeglasses -
do you think he eats pussy?
i took a freshman Ethics class and that’s what they said was the first question we should worry about
the second question was about chain wallets but i’m really more curious about the first
people are pretty fucking careless these days about how they compile their playlists
a lot is at stake, man
good playlists are the only things separating us from animals
I saw your new Good Vibes playlist.
It wasn’t as good as Sun Jamz 2003, but then again what is
What happened to the ‘z’?
why are different things cool now
I saw your new Girlfriend
I never thought you could fall in love with a woman of that face type
it seems like a good flavor
I’m happy for you and your new-face lady.
‘I just really believe in multitasking’
you say after describing a string of infidelities
‘It’s just like switching tabs, man.
Google shoulda fuckin invented interpersonal relationships.’
if you can’t sext and change a tire at the same time
you’re basically a puritan
and you don’t deserve love
"Hey kid. Look."
"I’m no kid."
"To me you are.
Can’t even listen,
Can’t even notice
The perfect things
When they purr at you.”
"The Rain doesn’t purr."
"I drip. So what?
Moral stays the same.
What I’m saying is
Here I am drenching
The whole world at once,
not something I do too often.”
"Then why do it?"
"For you. Because
While the rest of the world
Suffers the deluge
I’m saving you.
Not a single drop is
Going to break your halo.”
"But why me?"
"That’s a different story kid.
Rather I want you to look.”
Soaking the world, and that’s
Even the people inside.
They’re still wet
In their hearts or maybe
Their neurosis or metaphysical
disposition. See, because
I’m putting them
In a place and they can’t
Leave that place or
I’m going to flood them
Back into that place.
But look here, I’m coming down,
More and more, a torrent,
Upon every town
No matter how small.
I have to. I get too full.
And you can’t expect my concern.
None of us concern
About the mortal weight of man.”
"Still a different story kid.
Point being I will hollow out.
I will end. I always have
Until I fill up again.”
"But that takes time
For more water to ascend.”
"Precisely it. I fall and I rise
And I will do so
Forever and again. And all
You have is time in between.”
"I think I get it."
"Where you going kid?"
"I think I want to
Walk out unto the world
Give out a few umbrellas.”
"There you go. Between you and me man,
I hear your shirt is a good start.”
be a man got inside my head as soon as i was alive.
be a man rubbed dirt on my open wound
i got an infection and the gash swelled
be a man made me chase girls laughing and screaming in
the elementary wind, to push them away when they hovered over me
and i felt wierd.
be a man chased after my brother with an aluminum baseball bat when he took my toy because
pride was severly injured.
be a man tutored me on the language of
thats gay you like boys faggot
and made me recite:
fuck, shit, ass, damn, bitch, cunt, cock,
whore, slut, dick, dyke, nigger, chink, wetback,
and every variation of the inevitable hell.
be a man robbed me blind
with the advice to rob back
and do it so gracefully.
be a man turned my head from beautiful eyes
to the breasts and butts of many
a potential coquette.
be a man masturbated from age twelve
to death because the internet was more
readily available than many a potential coquette.
be a man signed me up for baseball
even though i hated assuming the position
and always hustling for no apparent reason.
be a man gave up pop music
because like only little girls and hot chicks
actually like pop music
be a man cut my hair and enlisted me
in junior rotc because getting yelled at
and push ups and running and sweat.
be a man gave me another beer to wash down
the vomit of the last ten tallboys
just because drunken party night.
be a man loaded another .5
in the gravity bong at 7:30 in the morning
because school is longer than any high
be a man yelled at me and interrogated
what was I thinking for looking up
be a man got inside my head and
whispered the old ways of youre gay fagboy
when i stared at matthew too hard.
be a man laughed at me- a chorus of laughter-
when i read that poem
be a man laughed at me again for not
making out with her because the conversation was getting good
and i didn’t want to interrupt the goodness.
be a man whispered words of suicide
when i realized i was still a virgin
and so so innocent and sweet.
be a man
gave a eulogy
when i fell in love for reasons not for sex.
be a man died when i admitted forever was i a little boy.
I wake up covered in it
As if once in the day time
Sticky isn’t quite the word
He would use. He would
Say that he likes the idea and
Probably wants to try it for her
But its just a mess I tell you.
Just a mess stretching the span of
Sure it felt great for her to even be
Without it I’d probably pretty
But to be honest
It’s kind of like feeding a worm
Cheese and watching it
Vomit up little white, moist, slippery
Chucks all day long.
when I first saw Men In Black, I was worried that my body was a host for a giant cockroach-alien and I would reveal my true form before I turned ten.
I still worry about the same thing, essentially, only there are now a thousand abstract giant cockroach-aliens using my body as a host.
tonight worked out, you guess.
you stare at the tv as your friends watch Louie.
it’s the one where David Lynch plays a producer
who prepares Louis C.K. to host The Late Show.
it’s funny and you laugh at appropriate intervals.
the apartment fills with smoke and pierced children
loudly proclaiming they are dropping out of school
to start clothing lines. you can stay
and get drunk and uncomfortable
or go home and get sad. your call.
you ride home past downtown
into the realm of the sleeping and dead.
the phrase “the realm of the sleeping and the dead”
seems dumb in connection to your neighborhood
but you still save it as a note on your phone.
here is what you need to do:
add inscrutable captions to pictures of household objects
and post them to your snapchat story.
resume reading your Long Complex Postmodern Opus
and put it down after five pages.
sit in front of a blank Google Doc for an hour
and feel sorry for yourself
blame all your problems on your excess of good qualities.
think about yourself until you get bored of it.
you probably won’t.
she traces patterns
into her grandmother’s talcum powder floor
; elsewhere, with sweating lips,
she whispers,”Ask and ye shall receive.”